I'm so fed up and tired with my life right now.

I let every little thing effect me so deeply.
Tiny unimportant insignificant things cut me from the inside out and I think that one day I am just going to snap and end up ending my life.

I'm only 15 years old, i shouldn't have to deal with all this pressure.
This shouldn't be on me.

I take other people's problems and I am afraid to say no.

I'm pretty, I know but in the back of my mind I am the ugliest person in existence.

I can't tell anyone my secrets, even if i post them on here anonymously people still know its me.
I keep everything inside of me and then everything eats up at me until i just explode.
I can be perfectly happy one minute and throwing stuff and punching myself the net.

I have something wrong with me and i know this.
The doctors cant figure it out though.
Again with all this pressure. My parents and sister dont seem to understand me.
They say things that hurt me and sometimes i dont even know that they do.
I want to keep some things private and with them its practically impossible.
So what do I do?
I make another myspace and post secrets on here anonymously so no one knows its me.

But the way i type, the way i can hear my voice in my head when i type makes me think everyone knows it me.

Its me.
You all probably know me.
I'm on here a lot.

This account, this entire myspace is just so i can post actual secrets on here.
Because somethings i just need to type or write down or do something with.
I cant hold onto things forever.
I am only human.
A human that most of the time has feelings and emotions and opinions about things.
I cant be strong for every single fucking person in this world.
I am just one person.

One small insignificant teenage girl that cant make a difference no matter what i do.

I try so hard to be the person people think i am.
the person i created myself to be.
but all that ever happens is it backfires.
I'm back to the same person, i have flaws.
I know this.
But you don't need to point out every single thing about me you dont like.
I try to be happy, i try to be optimistic but thats just not me.

I have one good day and it is ruined by something that happened on the internet.
It always brings me down a bit.
Seeing that someone absolutely hates me for no reason, or for a reason which is un-true.
I am only one person I can't please everyone.
I cant be everyones friend.
I have tried trust me.
I have tried.

but I can't.
I need to be me, and i need to say what i feel.
I cant let people walk all over me.
I have enough self respect.